So I just got off Poison Control because my daughter had opened up the Maximum Strength Desitin, liberally smeared it all over and around her mouth, and preceded to lick it off. Poison Control Guy laughed. "Oh, that's classic." He asked us our names and what-not. Said mine sounded familiar. All I could think was that he remembered me from about a year ago. I had called because Alice had unscrewed the little soap dispenser in the dishwasher, and she sucked all the soap off.

"Um...My dad's a big Tolkien fan..."

*laughter again* "Oh, my buddy in the office will love that! Call me back at 8, and don't worry if Alice vomits at least once, Mom. Alice is such a pretty name." I bet he says that to all the moms. "Desitin is a laxative so don't worry if she gets diarrhea."